Connections

There is something magical about feeling strongly connected to others and to the world around us. No one can truly thrive in isolation, and we are never truly independent, even as adults, because we always function within a society that supports us in one way or another. When we connect meaningfully with ourselves and others, something special happens, and a sort of magic begins to unfold. We feel less isolated, more integrated into a larger whole, and a part of something greater. This changes the human condition, gives meaning to life, and motivates us to want more of what matters most: connection or love.

The need for social connection is baked into our DNA. It is how we regulate ourselves, arguably a biological necessity as vital as food and shelter. Historically, we learned to work together to build social structures, and to be banned from society was almost certainly a death sentence. However, connections extend beyond social structures, family, interpersonal relationships, and even safety; we also need healthy connections to ourselves, our community, our planet, and the powers that created this world we enjoy.

This section explores the importance of connections and the skills that help you build and maintain solid connections. Connections are where we go when we need help, support, reassurance, or strength to overcome difficult times. Connections are essential for our survival. They help us maintain balance and play a crucial role in our ability to achieve equilibrium, maintain homeostasis, and ultimately to find rest and restoration. When you build meaningful connections, your support system will be there for you, and when others need your help, you are there for them. This is not to say that we do not need solitude or to learn to be with ourselves and, at times, to be content without external support; however, our need for connections remains. This is also not to say that all connections are beneficial; there are times when we need to critically examine troubled connections to determine if we need to let them go. This section helps you become more aware of these needs and encourages you to build a strong support network if you don’t already have one.

Priorities play a significant role in life and in developing strong connections. As we progress through life, we make decisions that shape brain development. Over time, our decisions shape how our brain functions, and we gradually develop an operating system, whether we are aware of this or not. This operating system is highly individualized and very personal. Other people and institutions influence us, but ultimately, our choices shape our system, values, and lives. We can modify our operating system throughout life by updating the reward value of various behaviors. Recognizing that we exist in a complex system of greater and higher power enables us to constantly fine-tune our operating system. There is beauty and wisdom in nature that is far beyond our grasp; we are part of this collective, and the collective is a part of us.

As we explore connections, we will start by examining some of the core component skills necessary for strong connections. Skills like attention, managing thoughts, and managing our emotions are important in building connections, and these are covered extensively in previous sections. Additional skills, sometimes referred to as executive skills, are also crucial for social learning and connection-building. In this section, we begin with four executive skills that support strong connections. These include:

• 1. Flexibility

• 2. Time management,

• 3 Communication and Listening skills.

• 4. Presevverence

After these four skill areas, we follow up with strategies to strengthen specific connections, including:

• 5. Friends and Family

• 6. Parents and Children

• 7. Spouse or Partner

• 8. Self

• 9 . Nature

• 10 Trancendental powers.