Collaborative Problem Solving
Defining Collaborative Problem Solving
Collaborative Problem Solving is an evidence-based method created from neurobiological research done by Dr. Ross Greene and Dr. Stuart Ablon. This parenting method teaches parents and children skills to resolve problems and strengthen relationships.
It helps to reduce challenging behaviors, increase compliance, and improves family relationships.
Collaborative Problem solving is based on the understanding that many children lack the skill, not the will to behave well. Particularly skills that are related to problem-solving, flexibility, and frustration tolerance. However, it avoids the use of power, control, and motivators.
This method will help parents to:
• Change their thinking and approach to promote a positive relationship with their child
• Reduce challenging behavior
• Solve problems collaboratively and proactively
• Teach skills related to self-regulation and communication
How to Make it Work
• Be open-minded and stay neutral
• Won’t work if there are negative feelings/emotions behind it
• Works best when everyone is calm and neutral
Basic Steps of Collaborative Problem Solving
Step 1: Empathy
• Be genuinely curious about the child’s point of view
• Listen! Show them you fully hear them and reassure them their point of view is valid
• Acknowledge and validate feelings
• Stay openminded
Step 2: Define your Concerns
• After your child feels fully heard and validated, state your concerns and your perspective
• There can be no blaming, judgment, shame, or disapproval
• state the problem and how it affects you, your child, and/or others
Example: "I hear that you want to throw the sand; I worry that sand can hurt us badly if we get it in our eyes."
Step 3: Invitation to Problem Solve
• Go over your concerns and invite your child to solve the problem with you. Let them go first.
Example: “I know we can figure this out together. Let’s come up with some ideas.”
For more information, visit: Dr. Abalon: “Rethinking Challenging Kids – Where There’s a Skill, There’s a Way” on YouTube. The Explosive Child by Dr. Green also provides more information about the CPS approach with difficult or explosive children.