Understanding Emotions

Understanding Emotions

Emotions are central to our human experience, influencing our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions. They guide us toward our goals and reflect our internal states. Yet, understanding and managing emotions is often challenging. This section provides strategies for emotional management, drawing on contemporary research and practical experiences.

Emotions are not just fleeting feelings; they are complex sensations, shaped by personal experiences, beliefs, and contexts. The brain and nervous system automatically respond to environmental triggers, creating patterns of emotional reactivity that evolve over time. Understanding these processes can offer valuable insights and help improve coping skills.

Emotions are subjective internal feelings generated by our perceptions and interpretations of life events. Their intensity and duration vary, and they can be triggered by thoughts, interactions, memories, or specific situations. Emotions, like thoughts, can be neutral or move us in positive or negative directions.

Primary emotions—including happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust—have traditionally been viewed as universal. Recent research, however, questions whether emotions are truly universal, suggesting instead that each person constructs emotions through a unique interplay of brain, body, culture, and context, as described by Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett in “How Emotions Are Made.”

Before delving into the biological nature of emotions, it is helpful to define some of the primary emotions we all experience. There are hundreds of emotions, often built from combinations of more elemental emotions. The following list, inspired by Brené Brown’s "Atlas of the Heart," defines some of the more common emotions and provides a language to discuss emotional states. Everyone experiences and describes emotions differently; the list is not exhaustive, but it serves as a good starting point for understanding the common emotions most of us experience.

A key concept surrounding emotions is valence—the subjective positive or negative value an individual assigns to an object or situation. Valence is a measure of emotional responses to stimuli and influences attitudes, behaviors, and decisions. These responses trigger the release of endorphins, hormones, and neurotransmitters—powerful chemicals that shape our emotional reactions.

We will begin by defining emotions that generally have a more positive valence, then those that can be positive or negative, and finally those that tend toward the negative end of the spectrum. Remember, however, that everyone reacts differently, so emotions that may be perceived as positive for one person may not have the same effect on another.   Emotions are not inherently good or bad; they are simply reactions. Becoming aware of the nuances in our emotions gives us greater agency in managing them.

A fundamental rule of neuroscience is: “What you practice becomes stronger.” Repeatedly experiencing an emotion strengthens it. This principle underscores the importance of learning to regulate emotions before they take control of us.

Below are some of the more common and essential emotions. Noticing the differences and becoming more aware of the emotions you experience most often can help you manage challenging emotions and appreciate helpful ones. Accurately identifying your feelings at any moment supports well-being.

The following list of common emotions is from Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown. As you scroll through the different emotions, notice how each one moves you positively or negatively or somewhere in between. Everyone experiences different emotions, and each emotion is different. Click the emotion to review its definition.

Emotions with a More Positive Valence

Love: Love is often considered the central and most helpful emotion of the heart. Some debate whether it is an emotion or a mindset comprised of multiple positive emotions directed toward a particular person. Love involves authenticity and connection, and it grows when reciprocated. It is nurtured through trust, risk, respect, kindness, and commitment.

Joy: Perhaps the most vulnerable of all human emotions, it brings expansion and deep connection. It often arises unexpectedly and is linked to gratitude, forming a positive spiral. Expressing joy can be challenging to articulate in American culture.

Happiness: Happiness is influenced more by heredity than many realize. It relates to the pleasure derived from external circumstances and is generally more intense, but not as lasting, as joy, providing positive yet less profound experiences than joy.

Gratitude: Gratitude is closely related to joy and contentment, focused on appreciating what brings meaning and connection. Daily gratitude practice offers significant benefits for the mind and body.

Contentment: Contentment involves feeling that one has enough and is satisfied. It is not about settling, but about recognizing sufficiency, fostering appreciation and completeness, reducing stress, and promoting heart health.

Compassion: Compassion is an active process that involves awareness and acceptance of others’ struggles or suffering, and the act of kindness. It means understanding pain without trying to fix it, offering presence rather than solutions.

Empathy: the willingness to be present with another’s suffering, to understand their experience, and to respond nonjudgmentally. Emotional empathy synchronizes bodily states, while cognitive empathy involves understanding another’s perspective without sharing their emotional experience.

Surprise: A reaction to unexpected events, often involving astonishment and a blend of emotions such as joy, fear, or excitement.

Excitement: Intense enthusiasm for current or upcoming events, felt as heightened physical energy.

Vulnerability: Vulnerability involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure in situations such as sharing feelings or taking the initiative.

Humility: Humility is a realistic appreciation of one’s strengths and weaknesses, openness to learning, and willingness to adjust, fostering grounded confidence.

Emotions with a More Neutral Valence

Pride: a feeling of pleasure derived from accomplishments that fosters self-worth and is sometimes shared with others. Negative pride, or hubris —an inflated sense of self-worth —is different from authentic pride.

Guilt: Guilt arises from failing to meet personal standards, prompting corrective actions when actions conflict with values.

Overwhelm: Overwhelm happens when an emotional experience exceeds one’s ability to process or cope.

Flooding: Feeling overwhelmed during conflict, often leading to a shutdown or panic; resolution is difficult until calm is restored.

Regret: Regret is the discomfort from believing an undesired outcome resulted from one’s own decisions or actions.Discouragement: Discouragement follows unmet expectations, reducing motivation and enthusiasm.

Anger: Anger is an intense reaction to perceived wrongs or unfairness, motivating action. It may mask other emotions or unmet needs. Anger can be helpful and motivational when expressed in balanced ways or destructive and damaging if not kept in check.

Emotions with a More Negative Valence

Stress: When demands exceed coping resources, it often combines multiple emotional elements.

Anxiety: Anxiety is future-oriented mental pressure, longer-lasting than stress, with strong physiological effects.

Resentment: Frustration, anger, and a sense of unfairness.

Disappointment: Feeling hurt from unmet expectations, with intensity tied to the level of expectation.

Embarrassment: A feeling of discomfort when one is exposed or deviates from social norms.

Envy: Envy is the desire for something another person possesses, often accompanied by hostility.

Jealousy: a thought-based reaction characterized by a fear of losing a valued relationship or attention.

Sympathy: Feeling sorry for someone from a distance, which can hinder connection. With empathy, you connect with the person; with sympathy, you distance yourself while still feeling compassion.

Shame: Shame is feeling unworthy or unlovable, often driven by secrecy, silence, and judgment. Empathy and self-compassion are antidotes.

Hubris: Hubris is an inflated sense of ability, seeking dominance, and is linked to narcissism.

Hopelessness: Hopelessness arises when change feels impossible, related to self-blame and negative thought patterns.

Fear: A present-oriented response to perceived threat, triggering fight, flight, or freeze.

Hate: A complex mix of emotions, typically toward distant others or groups, that fosters a false sense of belonging or superiority. Possibly combinations of pain, suffering, envy, resentment, disappointment, or embarrassment

Contempt: Demeaning anger, often a predictor of relational breakdown.

Assessing how frequently you experience each of these emotions, as well as their perceived helpfulness, can contribute to emotional health.   After you have examined your emotions, you might want to identify strategies for strengthening healthy emotions.

Notice that the more common emotions tend to be more negative than positive, but we can change that.

Picture: an emotion wheel showing more possible emotions

Where Do Emotions Come From?

Dr. Feldman describes emotions as “biological adaptations designed to support functioning.” Each emotion has a unique physiological signature—a combination of hormones, neurotransmitters, and endorphins. Feelings of safety or danger activate different parts of the nervous system.

Emotions emerge when we like or dislike something, or as we interpret events. Thoughts and perceptions influence nervous system chemistry, which, in turn, shapes emotions and vice versa. Emotional reactions begin in the unconscious brain about one-quarter of a second before reaching conscious awareness; willpower cannot change this sequence. Our feelings are deeply intertwined with our thoughts and behaviors.

Thoughts involve inner dialogue and analysis, while emotions are felt as physiological responses. For example, a thought like “I don’t think a person likes me” is distinct from feeling sad, which may also involve physical tension. Recognizing these differences can clarify your internal experience. Notice the differences between thoughts and emotions.

·      Words vs. Feelings: Thoughts typically manifest as language, while emotions manifest as physical sensations.

·      Cognitive Processing vs. Physical Sensations: Thoughts interpret situations; emotions are bodily responses to situations.

·      Duration and Intensity: Thoughts are brief and fleeting, while emotions may linger until they are fully processed.

·      Origin and Triggers: Thoughts are shaped by beliefs and past experiences; emotions can arise before conscious thought.

·      Ability to Change: Thoughts can be challenged and changed more easily than emotional responses; however, emotional reactions can be altered through a more complex process of reprogramming the brain, which involves more behavioral science.

Separating emotional reactions from the thoughts that drive, maintain, or support them can foster mindfulness and cognitive-behavioral practices that restore balance, growth, and restoration.

The Difference Between Emotions and Thoughts

Thoughts and emotions, though related, are distinctly different. Thoughts involve ideas, beliefs, and reasoning, often under conscious control. Emotions are physiological and psychological reactions that occur automatically and are less consciously managed. For example, “I feel like I am not good enough” is a thought, not an emotion, even though it is described as a feeling. This thought can lead to feelings of sadness, an emotion often associated with the thought. Emotions can occur in response to thoughts, or they can occur in response to other triggers, and associated thoughts often follow the emotion. In this way, thoughts and emotions become linked or associated in memory. 

It is easy to confuse thoughts and emotions, as each can influence the other. Distinguishing between them is important because thoughts are easier to control consciously, whereas emotions are more automatic and have a biological footprint.  This is complicated because sensory input always passes through the emotional centers of the brain before reaching areas responsible for rational thought, meaning emotional reactions typically precede conscious activity. However, thoughts can either create or intensify the life and duration of emotions.

It can be frustrating when someone tells you to stop feeling a certain way; you can’t just turn emotions on or off.  You can become aware of the thoughts that are strengthening the emotion and work on changing your perspective, which will help you develop more control over the emotion over time. 

How Do We Develop Emotions?

Emotions are influenced by a complex interplay of factors, including genetics, life experiences, brain chemistry and development, hormones, health, sleep, fatigue, diet, trauma, social connections, and personal history. All these factors and many more interact to shape our unique emotional experiences.

Energy moves through the body and brain, and emotions are internal fluctuations of this energy. When you become aware of and connect with your unchanging essence, you can free yourself from unhelpful emotions that arise and pass throughout life.

Feelings are sensory information, while emotions are more like the meanings we assign to these sensations. Accepting and processing feelings allows them to pass, while rumination can keep them alive. Research suggests that the life cycle of a feeling is typically about 90 seconds, but rumination can prolong emotions for much longer.

Our body’s changing chemistry—endorphins, neurotransmitters, hormones—shapes how we feel, and it’s normal to experience emotional ups and downs.

Main Players in the Neurochemistry of Emotion

Strategies or activities that improve mood are strongly related to the levels of happy vs. not-so-happy chemicals in our bodies. Happy chemistry can be generated by doing simple things, such as exercising, meditating, or spending more time in nature. These activities increase the natural production of feel-good compounds, which in turn influence mood and behavior. We need to learn about them and to help our body produce more or less of these as needed. This may seem like a lot of biology, but these compounds can be your best or worst friends, so it’s helpful to learn a little about them.

Oxytocin:

Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, is stored and released from the pituitary gland. It is linked to feelings of depression when levels are low.  Oxytocin binds to receptors in various locations associated with social recognition, pair bonding, and honesty.  Oxytocin was initially thought to be primarily associated with pregnancy, labor, childbirth, and breastfeeding, but it is also associated with physical touch, sexuality, and bonding. When people perceive themselves as being closely bonded, oxytocin levels increase. The smell of the baby, physical contact, a picture of your partner, and feelings of trust, kinship, and support are all associated with higher levels of oxytocin. Higher oxytocin levels can even synchronize physiological responses. It's known as hormonal glue, and it is powerful in facilitating relationships. Studies also show that increased oxytocin receptor activity is associated with greater social media participation, which may contribute to this attraction.

Effective ways to increase oxytocin include engaging in pleasant physical exercise, giving a big hug, or socializing with close friends or family.

Other Ways to Increase Oxytocin include:

• Doing something for someone else

• Hugging a pet or playing with an animal.

• Holding hands, cuddling, or looking into another person’s eyes.

• Yoga 

• Love and Kindness Meditation or notes to friends or loved ones.

• Massage or self-massage of the shoulders and temples

• Eating out with friends

• Chamomile Tea, Vitamin C, Sunshine, Warmth

• Oxytocin is available as a nasal spray

Dopamine:

Dopamine is a Neuromodulator as well as a neurotransmitter – it influences the communication of many different neurons at once. Dopamine release in the brain can be local or broad.  Neurons that release dopamine also release glutamate, improving pleasure, motivation, excitement, and reward. Dopamine is not just about pleasure: it’s the universal currency of foraging and seeking things that will provide sustenance and pleasure in the short term and extend life in the long term.  Dopamine causes us to crave and pursue things outside of ourselves.

Dopamine is stimulated/released when we expect or hope something will happen or when we are highly motivated to pursue something.

Dopamine peaks should not occur too often; it is better to vary or level out how much dopamine you experience with an activity over time. Variety in intensity and uncertainty keeps you motivated and engaged.

If dopamine levels are too high, the brain reduces its receptivity to dopamine, and the activities that typically release it function less effectively. This starts the spiral of addiction.

It is better to notice and continue activities over time to balance dopamine release, paying attention to how much dopamine they provide, and adjust your effort accordingly.

To modulate dopamine, do things differently, like doing something alone that you usually would do in a group, or changing up routines to add novelty.

If you do something that releases huge levels of dopamine, pleasure may decrease afterward because you have relatively less dopamine after the initial surge, which is another reason to try to maintain stable dopamine levels.

Dopamine influences the perception of time. When we engage in an activity solely for the purpose of receiving a reward, time will feel longer because we release less dopamine during the effort than we do when we receive the reward. It is better to derive reward from the process and associate dopamine release with challenge and effort, rather than goal achievement. Convince yourself that the effort part is the good part (e.g., intermittent fasting or studying for a test).

We all have a dopamine setpoint: if we overly participate in dopamine-stimulating activities, eventually, we won’t experience the same joy from those behaviors. Dopamine can improve your mood, attention, and heart rate, but like everything else, it is best to keep levels moderated.

Given its association with motivation, increasing your dopamine level can be as simple as setting a goal and completing it.

Subjective experiences increase dopamine depending on enjoyment, but things like chocolate, physical touching and holding, nicotine, and stimulants universally increase dopamine.  The key is not to expect or chase high dopamine levels through unhealthy activity levels.  

Meditation can also boost this motivation and pleasure-seeking molecule.

Physical Activity: Exercise will be different depending on how much you enjoy the exercise – if you enjoy it, exercise will double your dopamine output above baseline.

Close social connections that release oxytocin have also been found to trigger the release of dopamine.

 A cold plunge (the water temperature will depend on the individual's cold adaptation) can boost dopamine levels up to 250% above baseline, and this effect can be sustained for up to three hours post-exposure.Other behaviors that increase dopamine include:

• Drink green tea

• Deep breathing

• Meditation

• Physical contact or Intimacy

• Create art like painting, writing, photography, or cooking

• Music

• Spending time in sunshine

• Good night’s sleep

• Chocolate

• Eat fruit to increase tyrosine

• Doing something new and interesting

• Nicotine

• Note: Epinephrine and adrenaline are manufactured from dopamine.

Serotonin:

Serotonin: Improves mood, sleep, and digestion. Serotonin is known as a "feel-good" chemical and can help stabilize your mood, making you feel calmer, more focused, and happier.  Even though it works as a neurotransmitter, much of your body’s serotonin is stored in the lining of your intestines before being released into the bloodstream. Increasing the intake of foods such as salmon, eggs, cheese, or nuts can help improve serotonin levels. Exercising and healthy exposure to the sun are also known to increase serotonin levels and improve overall mood. The best ways to increase serotonin include:

Spend 5 minutes in nature

15 to 20 minutes in the sunshine

Eat bananas for the amino acid tryptophan

20 to 30 minutes of exercise each day

Smell lemon or lavender essential oils

Recall pleasant, positive memories

Get a massage

Laugh by calling a funny friend or watching a comedy

Practice gratitude

Supplement with probiotics to increase tryptophan

Eat good carbohydrates like apples, sweet potatoes, and carrotsListen to music

Dance to music

5 to 10 minutes of mindfulness every day.

GABA:

GABA is the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter of the CNS (central nervous system); it helps calm the nervous system and reduces anxiety. Benzodiazepines (Benzos), such as Klonopin, Xanax, and Ativan, as well as alcohol, increase the effect of GABA. This usually feels great, like a warm hug, and the world suddenly becomes a friendly, wonderful place, with a soothing sense of calm. Unfortunately, this effect is short-lived because our body will turn down the effect that GABA has on receptors, and we are left in a condition where GABA is not as effective (even when we have normal amounts of GABA).  Brief or short-term use of these drugs can be helpful, but using them consistently over time (several months) will increase dependency, dysregulate our GABA system, and create a state of withdrawal that is much worse than the anxiety they help with initially. In response to Benzos and alcohol, the body downregulates GABA receptor activity, disrupting its effectiveness, which, as these drugs wear off, increases stress, feelings of fear and anxiety, disrupts sleep, and ultimately creates more of a need for the drugs. GABA makes us feel good, safe, and that everything is ok, but when GABA is downregulated, we feel the opposite, that the world is not ok, and we are in danger, which heightens our state of anxiety.

Natural strategies to increase GABA include:

• Healthy Exercise, Nutrition and Sleep

• Eating foods containing glutamic acids like soy proteins, nuts, citrus, green tea, or spinach.

• Practice yoga

• Breath Work

• Adding GABA-inducing supplements like magnesium or B6 to your routine

• Avoiding alcohol improves the effects of GABA

• Meditating and practicing mindfulness

It is also important to remember to be mindful of stimulants like caffeine and nicotine and to be careful about highly stressful social media, news, or television exposures. 

Cortisol and Adrenaline

Adrenaline and cortisol naturally fluctuate during the day.  Adrenaline is associated with excitement and activation, whereas cortisol is more closely linked to the perception of threat or danger. Cortisol increases blood sugar levels and suppresses the immune response, altering how the body metabolizes fat, carbohydrates, and proteins. Chronic elevation of cortisol levels can have adverse effects on the body, including weight gain, mood disorders, and compromised immune function. Its primary function is to help the body cope with stress; however, cortisol increases heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration. Prolonged exposure to high levels of cortisol can have numerous negative effects on health.

Adrenaline is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter. It is produced by the adrenal gland and secreted into the bloodstream in response to stress or danger. Adrenaline increases heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration. As a neurotransmitter, adrenaline, also known as epinephrine, is involved in transmitting signals between nerve cells to activate brain activity.

Cortisol levels are highest in the morning and lowest at night. Higher levels of cortisol in the morning help us wake up. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels disrupt the daily cortisol cycle. Higher levels of cortisol influence the body in many ways, including increasing the activation of brain regions involved in regulating emotions and mood to ensure safety. High cortisol levels cause the fight-or-flight areas of the brain to become even more hypervigilant which can lead to even higher levels of cortisol.  Higher levels of cortisol also disrupt sleep and play a critical role in regulating your sleep-wake cycle.  Cortisol also promotes the synthesis of glucose from proteins, making more glucose available as fuel in response to stressful situations. Cortisol also increases abdominal fat and increases cravings for food, especially carbohydrates (sugars). This contributes to the vicious cycle of stress and overeating (especially unhealthy foods), which creates more stress and more overeating, etc. Reducing chronic activation of the adrenal glands and lowering cortisol output through stress reduction helps to break this vicious cycle. 

The Biological Side of Emotions

Scientific understanding of emotions is evolving. Emotions were once thought to be hardwired and linked to specific brain areas; however, research now shows that they involve complex networks. The brain’s “pleasure centers” and reward circuits, which involve the prefrontal cortex and dopamine pathways, play a crucial role in generating positive feelings. However, mood disorders are not solely due to chemical imbalances; thoughts and emotions influence these balances, and in some cases can cause or create imbalances.

Neurochemicals such as serotonin and dopamine influence how these networks function and how we perceive our emotions. Medicines that specifically affect these chemicals are helpful for many people, but other factors are also important. Chemicals like oxytocin (involved in social bonding and attachment), dopamine (which plays a role in attention and foraging), pheromones (involved in mating, territorialism, danger, and food), endocannabinoid (involved in the regulation of mood, appetite, immune response, pain, and inflammation) and cortisol (involved in fear and fight or flight) are also involved when emotions ramp up. Chemistry within the individual constantly changes, and issues can arise due to an imbalance of one or more of these chemicals. Dopamine, for example, activates the reward system and is associated with motivation, positive emotions, and foraging, but it is also associated with cravings in which people experience uncontrollable urges and engage in harmful behaviors like addictions or risk-taking. Other factors, such as diet, sleep, exercise, breathing, health, and genetics, also influence emotions, making these issues even more complex.

Emotions are more like reactive patterns than fixed physical or neurological conditions or specific states of being. They are like the meaning the conscious mind assigns to the reactions that occur as we naturally adapt to the events we experience. According to Dr. Barrett, they are like predictions made in the brain about what is or will likely happen. When specific emotions are repeated or practiced frequently, they can develop into a pattern that becomes a condition programmed by automatic reactions over time. The way we interpret or make sense of them cognitively influences how intensely we feel the emotion and how often it occurs.

Many emotional reactions are hardwired and passed down genetically, such as the baby who reacts to pleasant sounds, certain types of touch, or a smile, or exhibits adverse reflexive reactions to loud noises, high places, or certain facial expressions. As the brain develops, emotions become more complicated and nuanced.

Over time, our brain becomes a great predictor of future performance, a skill essential for survival. Emotions help us predict what is happening, what will happen, and how we think we should respond. These predictions are based on our memory of previous experiences, and their purpose is to help us make sense of our experiences and aid in our survival. The brain generates emotions as we cope with life experiences and try to predict or anticipate our needs, generating options in the process. This view suggests that we create our own emotions, but it also means we can change and create new or different emotions.

Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is a lifelong journey that requires practice and a willingness to adopt new behaviors and let go of old, unhealthy patterns. The TEACH strategies and exercises will help you navigate your emotions more effectively, fostering greater well-being and emotional resilience. As you embark on this exploration, remember that powerful emotions are not unmanageable; with the right strategies, you can harness their energy and allow them to enrich your life.

A  fundamental principle of brain science states: "Whatever you practice grows stronger." This means that if you consistently engage in strategies that promote positive emotions, you can gradually shift your overall happiness set point toward a more positive overall mood. You will move up and down from there, but you should return to that set point after adjusting to life's ups and downs. Along the way, you learn to ride the waves without panicking when things are not going well.

According to Dr. Feldman, emotions emerge in response to life events as we interpret and assign meaning to our experiences. Our thoughts, memories, and perceptions can significantly influence the state of our nervous system, affecting the chemical processes occurring within us at any given moment. In turn, these bodily changes affect our thoughts and emotional experiences as the brain attempts to make sense of and predict what is happening. The brain is constantly attempting to regulate and maintain a balance. This process is our energy in motion, or emotions. The narratives we develop around these changes play a significant role in shaping the emotions we experience.

Our nervous system is shaped over time by the environment in which we live. As we grow, perceptual systems develop, enabling us to adjust and adapt to the challenges in our environment. Culturally inherited knowledge facilitates this adaptation. As time passes, we acquire more knowledge and automatically encode important details in memory. This helps us grow and survive future challenges. When something challenging happens, the brain automatically predicts the ‘best response’ based on the sensory information available in the moment and past relevant memories. This creates a problem of prediction error, meaning that the brain is using current sensory information and old memories to quickly and automatically orchestrate a response. In many situations, this must happen instantly for us to survive a threat. Frequently, the brain’s prediction is wrong because it is based on memories that may not be pertinent to the current situation, resulting in limited information and uncertainty. This can lead to an unskillful response in that situation, along with unhealthy emotions and thoughts. When this occurs, we try to make sense of what happened; however, by the time we are consciously aware of how we reacted, our body has already responded biologically to the situation. We then tell a story and make meaning out of the experience, applying labels to familiar reactions, which, according to Dr. Feldman, is how we create different emotions.

This is a complex and challenging theory about emotions, but it is grounded in scientific knowledge about how the brain functions. It solves many problems and helps us understand how our body responds emotionally. Some theories suggest that emotions have an enduring identity, like anxiety, that determines how we respond emotionally. This suggests a specific area in the brain that consistently activates when we experience an emotion, but this does not align with current knowledge. Many things are happening inside, as we undergo biological changes from moment to moment. According to Dr. Feldman, the brain evaluates current sensory input and uses past relevant memories to generate a response automatically.  This is fundamentally how the brain works. And it gives great hope because it means that by understanding how our system works, we can develop control over our emotions.

We can do this by practicing skills that create new memories in triggering situations. This is how we reprogram the brain to automatically associate new helpful information with a given situation, thereby changing the brain’s prediction of our best option in that situation. This will reduce prediction error, a primary cause of unhealthy reactions and a significant contributor to human suffering.

This explains why some people think they cannot control an emotion like anger, for example. People who get angry often say that it happens before they can get a grip, or they cannot control their anger, or they feel like a victim of this emotion that somehow controls them. They are correct in that it usually happens quickly and automatically; however, if unhealthy anger is created by prediction error, they can reprogram their brain by noticing their response style and consciously trying different responses to change the brain’s algorithm in response to their triggers. They are not being controlled by an underlying condition of anger; automatic and unskillful responses to their environment have programmed them to respond this way. They can change their environment and their mindset and learn new ways to respond to their triggers.

By viewing themselves as helpless victims of anger, they program more prediction error into their brains, and as a result, they cannot predict alternative, healthy responses due to the meaning they attribute to these experiences. This is the problem of seeing yourself as the victim of anger (or any other emotion) as a trait or condition that you cannot control. In the angry scenario, the brain predicts that they should yell, fight, or hit. This is often reinforced by secondary gain, such as gaining the upper hand or when people back off (based on memories and experiences). Hence, angry behavior occurs; it happens by default because their brain is programmed this way in certain contexts, and they exhibit behaviors that may be maladaptive and abusive toward others. If you don’t think you can change, you won’t. However, this does not mean that they cannot control themselves; they have agency over the meaning they make of these situations, and they can train their brain to consider alternative responses. By moving out of the victim role and accepting responsibility for their actions, they can cultivate new, healthier emotions. This newfound freedom enables the release of fears, desires, worries, and any other obstacles that may be holding a person back from fully enjoying life.

According to this theory, you can assign a different meaning, remember differently, or expose yourself to triggers while maintaining control and thereby change your brain’s future predictions accordingly. You can invest in exposing yourself to new ideas to gain different perspectives on past and current experiences. You can practice new skills, such as accepting responsibility for your actions, developing a mindset of agency, increasing gratitude and appreciation for the good things in life, and cultivating self-compassion.  You can learn to forgive yourself for things you legitimately cannot control.  You can gradually expose yourself to stressors you need to overcome.  You can learn how to manage stress more effectively, be more present with loved ones, or become more optimistic. These skills alter the automatic predictions your brain makes in any situation and expand the range of possibilities your brain generates when faced with challenging situations. This is the essence of ‘mindfulness’, a series of skills that help you lower stress and become less reactive, allowing you to ‘drop into the plane of infinite possibilities’ (Dr. Daniel Seagle) and shape how your autonomic nervous system responds to challenging situations.  

When you create positive daily intentions, you make healthier predictions and minimize prediction error, allowing you to have more control rather than being controlled by past events.  We are meaning makers, interpreting the signals that enter the brain in relation to memories. You are at least partially in control of the meaning that is made of your experiences in life, and therefore, to some degree, responsible. You control the narrative even though you cannot control many of the internal events and the automatic reactions of your system. Awareness of this process helps you realize that you have more control, more agency than you might think or want to admit. This is the beauty of the theory that we create our own emotions.

This means that happiness, joy, and well-being are not a destination that fortunate people magically arrive at one day when the stars align. Happiness and emotional stability are available to everyone; you don’t need anything to find them, and the playing field is level, even though some individuals face more challenging circumstances than others. When it comes to happiness, nature seems to have a sense of humor; as elusive as it is, to a degree, it is there for anyone, and it doesn’t require anything outside of ourselves. Happiness and joy are emotions that we cultivate through the tiny habits that we practice each day.

Mood States and Traits:

There is a difference between mood traits and your current emotional state. Over time, positive emotions build personal resources and enhance well-being, while frequent negative emotions contribute to the development of negative mood traits. Neurons that fire together wire together. Positive or negative mood states are associated with specific patterns or networks of neurons that fire together and become wired together into familiar networks, which affect the way we perceive things and ultimately influence our personality traits.

What we feel at any given time is interpreted in relation to past experiences and future predictions. When we experience a trigger—a familiar environmental situation—we remember the feeling state and the label or story we attached to it. As patterns often repeat, emotions become more persistent and exert a greater influence over our overall mood.

In simple terms, experiencing happy, grateful, joyous daily moments will create larger, stronger, and more positive neural networks, leading to more positive mood traits. Unfortunately, negative mood states work similarly, building negative traits that linger and detract from joy. Sometimes it is hard to be happy or positive because of external circumstances or difficulty letting go, but life is what it is, and we always have options as we respond.

Building positive emotions involves actively practicing a variety of helpful strategies daily. Experiencing positive daily emotions leads to a more positive overall mood state, which supports more positive emotions, and the cycle continues.

To improve your mood, find a way to positively engage with life. Our page on Happiness and Joy is a great starting point.

Many factors influence emotions, such as genetics, brain chemistry, hormones, physical health, sleep, fatigue, hunger, diet, exercise, trauma, the people around us, living conditions, levels of connection and support from others, and our unique history. All of these and many other factors interact, and everyone’s experience in life is different. However, we are all similar, and the chemistry and neurology we experience inside can be understood separately from the various ways these systems are triggered.

How Emotions Take Control

We all exist as a form of energy; when we feel emotions about something, our energy begins to move. Energy exists in the body and the brain, but it can move outward into the environment where it is shared with others. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. We all have a certain energy, a fact that does not change. Yet, we have constantly changing emotional experiences. When we get in touch with that which never changes, the essence or energy that is us, we can begin to look at and free ourselves from the thoughts and experiences that hold us back or create conflict. This freedom allows us to let go of fears, desires, worries, or whatever is holding us back from enjoying life. Emotions go up and down, all around. Still, they are not us; they are natural internal fluctuations of our energy in motion.

Emotions Are Changes In Energy

Your body constantly experiences a complex cocktail of endorphins, neuromodulators, neurotransmitters, hormones, and pheromones that powerfully influence your subjective experience or how you” feel “at any time. Your body chemistry constantly changes, so many things can throw you out of balance. It is expected to have up-and-down emotions, and it is essential to learn to ride the waves without panicking when things do not feel right.