Thought Distortions

A heads up on unhealthy thoughts…

They create an unhealthy Headspace

We all have distressing and unhealthy thoughts. Our ability to manage these problematic thoughts or discern between helpful and harmful thoughts lies at the heart of successful living. Unhealthy thoughts impact our family, friends, co-workers, and society. When thoughts stop helping us, they begin to control us. In this section, we will look at common unhealthy thought patterns.

Uhealthy thoughts come in many flavors. Some of the more common varieties include:

Stinking Thinking

Thoughts Deserve Careful Attention

Everyone has a unique flavor of mental chaos, and it fluctuates from day to day. The best strategies for managing thoughts are based on the understanding that our thoughts are heavily influenced by how we attend to them. Thoughts tend to stick around or strengthen when we react emotionally or give them too much attention. Of course, thoughts help us navigate life, so it is essential to listen and attend carefully. Still, giving thoughts the right kind and amount of attention is vital: more attention to helpful positive thoughts and less attention to thoughts that create stress or increase negative emotions.

Self-Criticism

Chronic self-criticism and a lack of self-acceptance are fundamental barriers to happiness and well-being. Without self-acceptance, we face deep feelings of unworthiness, shame, lack of confidence, strained relationships, and diminished life potential. It doesn't have to be this way. Self-acceptance matters, but we must cultivate this Mindset, and our thoughts are where we start.

How Thoughts Impact Reality

A Closer Look at Common Thought Distortions

We can reduce unhealthy thoughts by observing our thoughts and noticing when we fall into unhealthy thinking patterns. The menu items below describe some of the common cognitive distortions people experience or encounter in others.

All Or None Thinking

Looking at things in black-and-white or all-or-nothing terms can cause us to overreact. Just because someone does something that makes you angry does not mean they are your enemy. If your performance is not perfect, you are not a failure. When a person disagrees with you on one thing, they are not against you on everything. This type of thinking can lead to a battle over right or wrong when both sides are usually partly correct.

“The world is divided between all the people who think they are right.”

All-or-nothing thinking contributes to a fixed mindset, resulting in a failure to recognize growth opportunities. It is rigid, highly rule-oriented, skewed toward right or wrong, and assumes knowledge of what is correct. This pattern leads to extreme positions on many issues that are not simply one way or the other.

Examples of these thoughts are: I can never do something / I’ve never been able to succeed. / Thin” / Things like this always happen to me. All or None are also infinity words; try to notice and question these, as they are usually exaggerations of reality.

Instead, try thinking, "Things are not fixed but constantly changing," or “Just because something happened in the past does not mean it will keep happening. “

Example: Dieting. Imagine someone is trying to lose weight. If they adhere strictly to their diet for a week and then indulge in a slice of cake at a party, their all-or-nothing thinking might lead them to believe:

- "I ate cake, so I've completely failed my diet."
- "Since I've failed, I might as well give up and eat whatever I want."

Problems Arising from This Thinking:

1. Self-Sabotage: Instead of acknowledging that one slice of cake doesn’t undo a week of healthy eating, they abandon their efforts entirely, which can lead to a cycle of yo-yo dieting.

2. Negative Self-Image: This mindset can foster feelings of guilt and disappointment, damaging self-esteem and making it harder to stick to healthy habits in the long run.

3. Avoidance of Experiences: They might start to avoid social situations or gatherings where they fear they might be tempted to break their "perfect" diet.

4. Inability to Learn: Rather than viewing setbacks as learning opportunities (e.g., how to enjoy treats in moderation), they may see them as complete failures, hindering personal growth.

To Dispute All or None Thoughts:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it's okay to enjoy treats in moderation.
- Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Celebrate your achievements and make adjustments rather than feeling like you need to be perfect to succeed.
- Reframe Your Thoughts: Instead of “I failed my diet,” try “I made a choice to eat cake, and that’s okay. I can get back on track tomorrow.”

By recognizing and transforming all-or-nothing thinking, individuals can adopt a more balanced, forgiving approach to challenges! 🌟

Other Common Cognitive Distortions

Overgeneralizing

If something happens once or several times in a row, you think it is always going to happen. You fail a test or make a mistake, and think this will happen again. This leads to thoughts that negative things always happen to you or generalizes that something terrible consistently, usually, or typically happens.

Overgeneralizing occurs when someone takes a single negative experience and applies it to all situations. For example, if a student fails a test and concludes, "I'll never succeed at school," this thought can lead to diminished motivation, anxiety, and avoidance of academic challenges. Instead of viewing the failure as a learning opportunity, the student may give up, missing out on future successes. Recognizing that one setback doesn't define all experiences is crucial for fostering resilience and cultivating a positive outlook.

Examples: There’s no use in trying. / I never do anything right. / I always do lousy on tests. / I’ll never get this done.

Instead, tell yourself: Just because things happen one way does not mean they will always happen that way.

Magnification/Minimization Exaggerations

This distortion is similar to forming an assumption. You interpret negatively, even though no definite facts convincingly support your conclusion. For example, you might conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, so you don't bother to check that out. This is also like being a fortune teller—you anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already established fact.

Examples: (Friend) doesn't like me—he isn’t calling me back because I’m not interesting enough, and he’ll think I’m obnoxious if I call him back again. / Doing that would take forever and won’t turn out right anyway. / Trying these new methods won’t help me.

Try looking up ways to manage fear, worry, and stress so you can see things as they are rather than through the lens of your emotions.

Assumptions/ Jumping To Conclusions

Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking ("He hasn't texted back because he thinks I'm boring").

Fortune Telling: Predicting things will turn out badly before they happen ("I know I'm going to blow the interview").

Try looking up ways to manage fear, worry, and stress so you can see things as they are rather than through the lens of your emotions.

Mental Filters

We all see the world through the filters of our experiences. Everyone is biased. The only way to see clearly is to know that the filters are there and find ways to remove them. When you look at things through a filter, you often pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.

Examples: All men or women can’t be trusted. / This proves the world is no good. / I ruined the whole presentation because of that one mistake.

Example: You receive a performance review with ten compliments and one critique, but you spend the whole week obsessing over that one critique. Try to learn to see things as they are, without judgment, narrative, or interpretation.

Disqualifying Positive Experiences

Rejecting positive experiences by insisting they don't count. In this way, you can maintain a negative belief even though your everyday experiences may contradict it. Even when you do something good, you only see the flaws or imperfections.

Examples: I don’t deserve to be loved. / My dieting and exercise have gone down the drain because I missed this week / That improvement was a fluke; I was fooling myself when I thought I was doing better. / They only promoted me because John moved to a different department, and they needed someone to cover the workload.

Instead of dwelling on imperfections, remind yourself that positive events are just as crucial as adverse events!

Emotional Reasoning

Assuming that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things are. Similar to, "I feel this; therefore, it must be true." This tends to keep people depressed. You feel bad. Therefore, your negative thoughts must be true.

Examples: The world is a bad place. / It makes me nervous, so it wouldn’t help anyway. / I’m not getting anywhere; these methods won’t help me. / I’m not in the mood to do anything, so I may as well just lie in bed. / I can tell because I feel so bored; this party will be a drag.”

Remember: Feelings are not facts.

Labels

This is an extreme form of over-generalization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. When someone’s behavior rubs you wrong, you attach a negative label to them. Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that's highly colored and emotionally loaded.

Examples: What’s the worst that can happen? / They’re just a bunch of losers. / I’ll make a fool of myself. / I’m so lazy; I’ll never get this done. / I must look like a balloon.

Labels are oversimplifications, usually involving judgmental attitudes and biases. Noting this may be helpful and leaves off the judgmental attitude.

Personalization

You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event for which you were not primarily responsible.

Examples: I must be a bad parent; my child’s grades show how I’ve failed. / I’m getting jilted; what did I do to mess things up? / My lab partner overslept and missed class, so now we have both failed our team assignment. It is completely my fault because I didn’t call to make sure she was up.

Remember: Everyone is responsible for what they do—don't take responsibility for others.

Shoulds

You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "shouldn't," as if you have to be punished before you can be expected to do anything. "Must" and "ought to" are also offenders; the emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct a statement toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

Examples: I should not have to do all the work. / I shouldn’t have eaten that. / I should be well by now. / He shouldn’t be so self-centered and thoughtless.

Start a journey of learning to accept life as it is. It's not helpful to want it to be different.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”Max Planck, Father of Quantum Physics

How Thought Distortions Work In Real Life